A Writer’s Mis(s)-Inspiration

I do have a belief in the concept of “Change.” Having a perception-oriented world around you, it’s always hard to conclude whether things are for better or worse. In any case, the experience is attached irrespective of the state of mind we are in.

I had an opportunity to meet a person while I was flying from New Delhi to Bangalore. He had everything going for him, a decent family and steady romantic relationship, and a great promise in his career. He told, it wasn’t stable concerning his girlfriend, and it took them three years and two breakups to get to this steady state.

One of the things I got to know was his talent for writing essays on philosophy, cars, music, and relationships. He doesn’t have a blog to address them but maintains a notebook to pen his thoughts.

He showed me the book, and it was empty for the last few months. He says he has become too lazy to write these days. Fair enough, responsibilities on the career front were stopping him to an extent. But, at the same time, he was frustrated that he wasn’t able to write.

He was kind enough to let me read few articles. According to my, the best ones were scattered here and there. Some of them showed his unintentional writing, I mean, writing just for the sake of it, not having a soul.

I pointed this to him, and he did agree.

Now the next question. “Sir, what has been the greatest source of motivation or, say, the inspiration to write such things?”

“Pain….. It’s something which is very much required to bring out the best, at least for me. When I look back, I feel my creativity was best when I had a hard time with either my family or with my girlfriend. I wanted some stir inside me to bring out the feelings and be honest; my best writings were when I had something inside, some uneasiness. When I wasn’t with my girlfriend, I thought that period to be a great motivating factor because I loved her, and I couldn’t convey and convince how much I missed her. All this energy was put on my writings, and friends said it was well written, that included my girlfriend too.”

Aren’t you harsh on your girlfriend by concluding like this? I asked
“Initially, I did not think this to be the reason. But, if you look back, my best writings came when there wasn’t any clarity in our relationship. Now it’s clear much clear than what it was. You know, I don’t mind this writing. I don’t want to hurt my girlfriend by telling her what I feel and the reason for my inability to write anymore the way I used to.”

At this point, I wasn’t convinced with his argument. It was a sign of him losing his touch since he feels he doesn’t have anything to say to her about how much he cared and loved. I was wondering how his girlfriend would react if she finds out about this.

Usually, I don’t interfere in people’s way of working or living. But at that time, I felt I had something to say. Also, he did ask my opinion. I chose not to be a diplomat.

“The path of self-discovery is exciting. When we decide that this is the person, we stop our discovery channel and instead switch to exploring the person regularly. This can be a judgmental call, and one has to back oneself and be convinced. It depends on what you expect from a partner. If it doesn’t match in the first step, is there any point in exploring?”

I continued, “When you say you are very at peace with yourself after getting back with your girlfriend, then it’s a positive sign. Life isn’t all about writing masterpieces. If your girlfriend’s distance away was your main source of inspiration, then think about the kind of inspiration she can be now that she is even closer. I am sure she doesn’t want you to be upset because of her. I understand we do have our ways of getting inspired, but it isn’t the right way to judge or conclude. If I were in your position, I would have expressed my feelings to the concerned and would find newer ways of looking at things.
In a way, this gives you a chance to write about things differently rather than looking at the same monotonous routine. It’s time you accepted the reality and allow the change to interact with your writing and analytical skills. It’s time for a change in the way you looked at things. You asked for my opinion, and I have given mine.”

He was surprised and suspiciously looked at me and asked me, “Have you ever gone through something like this?”

I was made to shut within no time. But I did reply, “It doesn’t matter whether I went through this all. I can say, at least I wouldn’t blame anyone but me. I have decided for the little skills I have, it’s my responsibility to find constant inspirations to keep it going. It’s tough at times, but the beauty of nature and life is such that it will give many sources; it’s only up to us to choose.” I hope this answers your question.

I didn’t realize Bangalore was such a short journey. He was in a hurry, we exchanged numbers, and that was it. And before saying goodbye, he said, he will look into whatever I had said.

In the end, it didn’t matter; whether it was because of me, he got back to his writing ways; I hope he feels excellent about writing again without having to blame someone else.