Category: Life

I Don’t Know

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There is a temptation, without a blink of an eye,

aware that how my life has gone so far.

And, yet in the comfort of one’s home,

Deep down my heart cries with the words, I don’t know.

 

The sound of a soul in distress,

do you know how it sounds?

For I have been privy to once in a while,

Not this time as the words I don’t know have never been clearer.

 

Like always it is occasional, so uttered my mind,

as I turned away, to focus on mundane things.

However, it was different this time as my heart pounded,

I don’t know, I don’t know.

 

The external voices, and these internal voices,

I struggled to pay attention to both.

For one I get the minutes in an email,

What about the other? I don’t know, I don’t know.

 

Neither the comforting food is offering solace,

nor chatting with my peers.

I find it hard to have a space of my own,

So that I can know why the voices say, I don’t know, I don’t know.

 

How do I share this feeling, call my mate?

Or should I let it unfold like it always did?

And, at that precise moment, the cries intensified,

I don’t know, I don’t know.

 

I ran, ran and ran till I reached the top of the town,

With no one around, it was a comfort zone.

Mustered all the courage and uttered it loud,

I don’t know, I don’t know.

 

At last, my mind synced with those cries,

As I dived into the precious sounds of silence.

Those few words were a tonic to the ones that affected me,

I don’t know, but I will figure it out.

 

It isn’t easy to utter I don’t know,

Unless backed up by the raw courage.

No one but you can find it,

I don’t know, and it is okay.

 

The path to my immediate life became clearer,

With the journey thus far being memories.

Each step forward is a step unknown,

And, that’s the beauty of it, because I don’t know.

 

Moments later, the fear factor of the unknown returns,

With a promise to never let me go.

The struggle continues, will it be eternal?

Maybe I do know the answer, or maybe I don’t know.

A Decade To Remember

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Today, I came across this comic by Gav, whom I regard as one of our era’s creative artists. His methods are simplistic and to the point. His illustrations drive me towards a conclusion that makes me think, introspect about my life and choices.

This time, he features David Bowie, the late singer who departed in 2016, leaving behind hundreds of songs and, in them, his memories.

I have been surrounded by artists and been privy to some of their creative thinking methods in my lifetime.

Few confident artists can deliver the line in a style, Rhett Butler, from Gone with The Wind would have whistled in approval.

At the same time,

Many artists have succumbed to the ‘pressure’ after smelling the sweetness of ‘success.’ The pressure extended by others, who in a way are just being themselves or doing their job.

There is public, a gallery, who perceive, who decide, opine, and critic. We do not think about the handful of those who praise.

Why restrict to artists? It applies to all of us.

Let us dwell into some of the quotes that were recently featured in the comic:

“Never play to the Gallery.”

“Never work for other people at what you do.”

“Always remember that the reason you initially started working was that there was something inside yourself that you felt that if you could manifest it in some way, you would understand more about yourself and how you coexist with the rest of the society.”

“I think it’s dangerous for an artist to fulfill other people’s expectations. I think they produce their worst work when they do that.”

“Go a little bit out of your depth.”

These lines strike a chord with some of the unusual career choices (going by my peers).

My path drifted a great deal from the norm (again, my peers being the yardstick) with creating a blog ten years ago. I wrote, despite my lack of skills as a writer.

From what I understood, ‘First, there are rules, then there is a room for amendments.’

We are humans; we cannot live by the commandments as we strive for better lives, evolve into something different from our previous generations.

That’s the order – we can get in and create something extraordinary or hold on to some of the antiquated rules sans adaptation.

Late 2006, I remember, my brother talked about ‘venting my feelings’ through a blog. I had a diary, a blog that opened a world previously not seen.

Looking back, I might not yet have a best-seller or a regular column in a top newspaper, nor am I a celebrity blogger.

Instead, I have gotten to know myself better and that, trust me, is a reward.

Happy Birthday Thatha

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The tenth day of January remains a special day in my life. Since the late 1980s,  I was made aware of the dates and their use for occasions to wish, celebrate or remember.

My maternal grandfather’s birth date happens to be 10th January.

He had a liking to write – in his case, it was personalised letters, which he wrote frequently. My mother replied to all of them, and my birthday wish to him began with a note – “Happy birthday Thatha,” that’s how I called him or refer him to this day, ‘Thatha.’

And, in the 90s, it was our time to send him greeting cards. My sister and I used to write our unique messages. I wish I had a way to scan those cards we sent.

He retired from his service and lived in rural Bangalore, and thereby much closer to us. We made those visits if his birthdays were on Sundays or else it was still the ‘greeting cards.’

Then came the telephone; he was just a dial away from receiving our wishes.

As I grew up, I fancied riding on a bike to wish him on occasion.

A few years later, we would drive with our family and celebrate with him or have him down to the city to spend time with his children and grandchildren.

By this time, he had a mobile number.

Then it was 2009, the last time I wished him in person. Two weeks later, I left India, and since then, we have kept in touch via a mobile device.

In 2014, just days before his birthday, Tripti and I visited him in January during our short stay in India. We wished him in advance and did call him on 10th January. Who knew what was to come?

He passed away a few months later, in May of 2014. I made that trip to the village; by then, the final rites were complete. He was gone from our physical world. I didn’t know what to make of it. It took me some time to accept that he wasn’t there if I had to converse with him.

Three years on, 10th January remains special. I wish him from my heart and remember him for being such an influential figure in my development.

He was the first person to narrate my stories, the tales from mythology to his encounters with many interesting people he met in his lifetime. I learned how to share one’s experiences listening to him, for he always crafted a story out of nothing.

My love for the movie classics stemming from the 30s were thanks to him. He loved his motorcycle and was patient with a lot of people. There are many more incidents related to him that deserve a memoir; maybe one day, I will pen those thoughts.

For now, I would say, happy birthday Thatha, I miss conversing with you.

To Click Or Not To Click

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There are many reasons why I recommend the 2013 movie, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I will not go into the details. Instead, I will cut to the chase and share my favourite part of the movie.

It happens to be a conversation between Sean Penn (who plays Sean O’Connell) and Ben Stiller (Walter Mitty).

Walter had gone to great lengths to find O’Connell, and after many adventure-filled incidents, he meets Sean at the top of the Himalayas. During their conversation, Sean interrupts him as they encounter a snow leopard.

Much to his dismay, Walter Mitty was surprised to see Sean not fiddling with his camera and instead of watching the snow leopard movements. It is said, the sighting of the snow leopard is rare.

The bemused Mitty asks Sean, “When are you going to take it?”

“Sometimes I don’t. If I like a moment, for me, personally, I don’t like to have the distraction of the camera. I just want to stay in it,” was Sean’s reply.

“Stay in it?”

“Yeah. Right there. Right here.”

The last few days, I have woken up to some of the best white winter mornings I have witnessed thus far in my life. I was tempted and must admit I was sucked into using my camera, clicking away what I saw.

And, then… I shut my camera and kept it aside.

There were no words or thoughts on my mind, just my eyes looking through the window and seconds later standing out on the balcony in the cold weather; I had forgotten for a brief time that I was recovering from the viral flu.

It was one such moment when I realised what a luxury it is at times to just look at the marvels of nature without the urge to share it with the world.

Clicking photos don’t cost a thing these days. It comes with our basic communication package – the smartphone. Therefore, it is not uncommon to snap the random moments we encounter without planning.

For the last few years, I have been introspecting over these questions – Why am I clicking a ‘moment’?

What separates a ‘photographic tale’ from a mere random shot?

When should I provide a narrative to my snaps, and when to leave it to others’ interpretation?

I am still in the process of concluding, or maybe I might never reach such a closure. That doesn’t bother me. However, I have realised that I love to present a moment as I view it.

The colour, contrast, the hues, brightness, the ambience, and warmth – all these aspects, I have learned by making innumerable mistakes since my mother gifted me a digital SLR in 2004. The learning process is on-going. Looking back at those errors, some have presented a different take on my subjects.

I am yet to learn how to photoshop effectively, and I believe it is a time-consuming process. Instead, the photos resort to minor image tuning whenever I feel there is a need for it.

The beauty seen through the occasionally flawed eyes of mine can be open to interpretation – but that’s another story, a story nevertheless.

The technology of viewing has evolved over the centuries – we can look at farther objects and examine the tiniest. However, when it comes to capturing the ‘moments’ around us, there is no better substitute for a pair of eyes.

My camera – well, it just helps me recollect those moments I have captured whenever I feel the need to revisit them.

Lose your dreams, you will lose your mind

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Yet another casualty, and this time it is at the heart of the European Union. There are disturbing scenes for anyone who tunes into the news channels or when surfing through the internet. While some have plenty on their plate to even think about it, many ask themselves, which place is a safe house in the times we live.

If there is one sure thing, it is the unpredictability of events irrespective of one’s geographical location. Media houses chart the list of happiest places in the world to live and go on to provide the fag end of the list. People strive hard to be in those ‘safe-havens’ while chaos is being plotted parallely.

The question is, will we continue to live in that ‘safe-net’ forever? No annual holidays? No business visits? Or even an unplanned getaway?

Each day, we make plans for the future and work towards it. By the end of the day, we might have compromised a thing or two about living the lives we dreamed of growing up. Plans upon plans pile up while the simple pleasures appear to look silly, even though deep down, that’s precisely what we crave for.

All our plans lead to the road to survival. Some chose muddy paths, while others prefer more acceptable grades of concrete. A few can afford the luxury to avoid roads altogether, while others ride their fortunes for having survived a day.

We are bombarded by the precursors and the possible outcomes of global conflicts of varying nature. We debate among friends, colleagues about the integrity of events, policies, actions, or lack of it. Thanks to the most evolved technology available to our fingertips, we are never far away from the news of disaster.

We can selectively choose. Can we turn it off completely?

Some choose to remain oblivious to what’s happening around them, some choose to ignore it, some get confused, and some get agitated. These gamuts of emotions sum up the world we live in – where despite the ‘safest physical cocoon’ we can create, our minds are volatile and subconsciously introspect to be guarded. So we make more plans to secure ourselves.

Are we missing the point here?

Here is what I have come to terms with, having witnessed some of the global catastrophes in my lifetime.

Every generation had its share of conflicts. Unless we can transport ourselves into the previous generation’s mindsets, we cannot fully comprehend or show empathy to the affected. We can always try.

We can never be genuinely ubiquitous – let’s accept that we are limited by being an individual entity.

Confusions and dilemmas are part of our growth. They are essential for our evolution and play a key role in our learning and decision-making abilities. Clarity is a journey, not a destination.

There will always be responsibilities till our last breath. It is up to us how we look at it, define it, face them and learn from it all.

And this was a game-changer for me:

Defining my dreams and being flexible about it; living my life, chasing after my dreams, and taking time to remain still when I am tempted to be in perpetual motion to reach places. The aforementioned ‘keys’ are proving to be paramount.

The definition of ‘dream’ is subjective and idiosyncratic. And choosing to live my life with loved ones and paint it like an adventure irrespective of ‘complicated’ commitments are the simple remedies I am happy to have taken and wish to take it moving forward.

I saw a Rolling Stones quote printed on a T-shirt that made sense – “Lose your dreams, you will lose your mind” and in a fragile and uncertain global world, working on our dreams continuously is not a bad option to consider.

WHAT DO I LOOK FOR WHEN I WANT TO GET INSPIRED

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There are plenty of websites, books, audio recordings, and seminars available to get inspired. There is no single formula for getting inspired. To get inspired is a personal choice and depends on the individual taste. Like anybody else, I too need constant inspiration(s) to do things.

Some aspects are situational, bounded by the life we lead and the way it is presented at any given point. Rest, I go looking for something to do! However, without any bias, each person needs inspiration at some point in time, and here again, we interpret this word in different ways.

Are we running short of ideas? Do we lack the spark which we previously possessed? Are we on the look out for a change? How can we tackle the same problem with a different approach? How do we seek clarity from a clouded problem? How do we face our fears? How do we accept and manage our responsibilities? How to do just about anything for the first time and carry on doing it?

One can ask many more questions, and one of the critical solutions is to get ‘inspired.’ The best part of getting inspired is that it has no set patterns. The same story narrated by an adventurer to a large audience can be interpreted in many different ways and, in turn, get inspired or discouraged, entirely based upon an individual’s interpretation and application skills. This is the beauty of creativity – the same idea, when executed by different people, results in different scenarios, products…

“Inspiration to me is… anything that ticks me to take a particular decision, perform a set of actions or even think about getting to a destination – it is a journey of thoughts mixed with choices and actions”.

WHAT DO I LOOK FOR

First and foremost, I look for a situation that needs intervention, a sort of inspiration that would help me resolve. Parallely ask, why do I need to fix it? I need not sit in one place and keep pondering. Just wanting to improve will present ways.

Why do I need to get inspired? I peg myself constantly with this question until I am satisfied with the explanation. Often, this answer sets the foundation for future elements. This exercise itself has inspired me many times just to take that hesitant first step. One can call it ‘introspection’ or ‘mindful thinking’ instead of just clocking in hours and then feel.. ‘what am I doing’? This helps me to be more aware of myself and have an opinion on my choices.

Being open-minded while absorbing the inspiration. I believe this is one of the tough things to endure. It is natural to relate any external talks immediately, solutions to our problems. Though it is difficult, I try to be as open-minded as possible! But again, I try!

Feel the situation from my point of view. It gets to me to a zone where there is this large pool of untapped thoughts that serve as inspiration within me. That is how I get inspired impromptu, i.e.; a simple act was done at a random hour. A regular task performed differently, or even an unrelated business or a task can act as a source of inspiration.

And lastly, the process of inspiration has two points. The start and the end (or in some cases, the end is never unless we deliberately put an end to it). I look for the journey from start to finish. This journey gives me a perspective and, therefore, some inspiration to keep it going, which I may not apply directly – but it all goes into my conscious bank. However, the lesson learned is that I undertook many tasks, and most of it I went on to fulfill them while a few I gave up at different stages of the pursuit. All these serve as sources of inspiration: How to do and how not to do.

To sum it up, getting inspired is a beautiful process. At this moment, unconsciously, subconsciously, our body, mind, and soul are getting inspired. Take a time out occasionally and live this chain of events that unfold in you – and you will be surprised to witness, inspiration is nothing but an exchange of experiences of any kind.

LEARN TO LIMIT AND REAP THE BENEFITS

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Have you ever tried searching for the term ‘Limit’ on Google? I see there are innumerable quotes which many renowned personalities have stated on one’s limits. What do these quotes convey? They all pretty much sing to a single tune – ‘never allow anyone to limit yourself.’ Taking the advice, I have decided to limit myself (instead of others) on essential things to my existence.

There are limits in life for a reason. Staying within limits has done wonders in life, and at the same time, one must remember, it is not easy to define a specific limit.

It is not something one can copy looking at what others have achieved. A limit should be defined in life depending on one’s lifestyle, surroundings, interests, profession, motivation, commitments, getting out of comfort zone, the need to create new benchmarks, and so on…

I do not believe in the adage – ‘there are no limits.’ From my experience so far, as long as human life is limited (as death is unavoidable), how can one define ‘limitless.’ Instead, I would say, we can reach a new limit, create a new benchmark, set a new time – all these are possible and within reach. Limitless cannot be measured and hence wonder, how can I achieve that state!

Let me give you an example from my own life. It took me a long time to admit to me not enjoying running long distances (10k and more). Was I limiting myself? No, I have been running long distances for quite some time, and it doesn’t entirely give me the ‘kick’ I need at the end of it.

Since this realisation, I have started to enjoy my short bursts of running and now confident of completing 5k at ease. Currently, happy with this arrangement, I feel my body and mind are in tune with this new set up. And, all that’s needed is 30 minutes of my time, three to four days a week. That’s 2 hours out of 168 hours, and I can gradually see the overall benefits devoting this little fraction of time in a week.

Now that I have worked out (till the time I realise something new), a schedule not following this routine is my definition to limit myself. Having many interests in life, committing myself to remain fit is just one of them – an important one indeed.

When I know I am good at other things (I can improve and learn more) or if I need to give attention to other aspects of life, why do something devoid of enjoyment and waste my time on just one part?

Fitness is essential, and there is nothing extraordinary here – I have just repacked my fitness schedule (lifestyle) to suit my personality. Let that be running or on a clear day cycling or just walking or just doing some floor exercises, swimming, playing a sport with friends, partner or kids, etc. An idle mind is a devil’s workshop; what about a passive body?

When you encounter a situation where you do not find any time, all you have to do is get out of everyone’s attention and honestly ask yourself if you want to do this. If the answer is yes, start small, learn to enjoy, and climb up.

Ensure you are not giving up other necessary commitments; instead, you are welcoming a value addition in your life. That’s how I look at it. If it is no, well……….. I leave that with you!

THERE IS NO PERFECT……………………………………………….

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I know everyone has been in a dilemma of whether to do or not to do; to have or have not and how!  This feeling is universal, and the path is frequently travelled, most times crowded, yet it seems like we are all by ourselves. However, what we choose to do with the feeling is something worth talking about.

How many times a day, a minute, we would have procrastinated ‘a sure thing’ for later or even convinced ourselves to do it at a perfect time?

Let me tell you; there is no perfect time!

Many tasks need an appropriate time; anything before and after is of no use. We all get that sort of commitment, and we ably do it. However, there are many jobs which are independent of ‘time’ is what irks us the most, tests the individuals and a group in general. What are we going to do with the time if we have procrastinated on a specific task? Is there something better to do, or is it a feeling that comes in between performing that particular task – which quickly gets postponed? Or are we just too lazy and oblivious about it?

I have learned this, and yes, I, too, have procrastinated and will do in the future. Isn’t it natural? The question is – when do I procrastinate?

These days, I have started to question the very process of procrastination. I am in the middle of creating a habit of asking why I feel like delaying a particular task with the hope the process will evolve and gradually becomes instinctive.

LOOKING BACK

When I look back, I see a pattern emerge as to what factors motivated me to procrastinate things in my life. I would categorise items or tasks into priority. If I felt it was not significant, they would be done later, or I would do specific tasks only when required. Whereas many functions in our daily lives are intuitive, and you know it needs to be done.

Why so? Because you know it, and you will find a way to get things done…Period!

It is natural; it’s instinctive, it’s common sense, it is one’s reaction to individual action and is to no small extent a degree of freedom where you do without an iota of thought.

Such behaviour emerges with practice and being more aware of what ticks you! Just like a feeling of being an artist who has mastered an art. Everyone loves to be in this kind of a zone, I know I do… but – there are more roadblocks one needs to overcome to get to this zone. This is one’s behaviour – and whether it is good or bad depends on how you define ‘good or bad’ and how others perceive it.

50:50 CONUNDRUM

I remember a famous quote printed on a T-shirt I used to wear during my college days – “A person who thinks he can and a person who thinks he cannot are both right.” A beautiful quote wakes your brain cells and makes you wonder which side of the pasture you want to graze.

I often go through scenarios in life that I term as 50:50 conundrums. The more I encounter such situations – the more I am experimenting or being adventurous. Or am I taking too much time to learn or adapt?

I believe this is more of a personality issue. This dilemma, which I talked about earlier, tests or perhaps decides many things in one’s life.

More often, I encounter these thoughts – “How would it be? What will happen? How will they view it? Is it worth doing it? Will, someone judges me because of my actions?…. plenty of questions, and these questions bog me down at times and have the potential to mask the clarity of what is required, what needs to be done, and how it needs to do.” Sometimes it makes me wonder – why an inevitable result is not coming my way, do I need to find other ways?

Personally, this ‘feeling of uncertainty and making sense of it’ is what makes me learn. I am a person who likes to reach the same destination in different possible ways – well, it’s just me, and I don’t think about it. I do think about it!

Without this problem, I would have learned less. This uncertainty does not drive me crazy. Instead, it buoys me to ‘choose’ and go through a series of ‘action-reaction’ thoughts within myself and try them out in reality.

It is a feeling where any feedback is like progress, which is how I wish to take it. Back in my days as a chemical researcher, I learned an important lesson. “Even a negative outcome is a result, and to get to the objective of an experiment, one cannot fudge the results or tamper with the observations.”

It is entirely against nature – a lesson for life indeed.

A SECOND LAYER

Beneath the polished mindset lies the second-layer where the 50:50 conundrum is most active. This is where one’s character is shaped and one crucial step away from revealing to the world. This aspect determines how to proceed further and in what direction, and most importantly, when or give up. This zone is what I call ‘a critical one’ – where one is exposed to a lot of things or new scenarios, and one doesn’t know how to react to it and not confident of taking some actions.

If things go our way due to making a choice, we do not think much – a sense of relief surrounds us, and we began to wonder – what the fuss was this all about.

What if things do not go as per expectations? This is what happens to most of us during experimentation, right? When decisions have to be made, one needs to bounce back or come back with another set of ideas or leave it at that.

People get segregated and get defined by choices based on their awareness. It is not the result; it is the numerous trails that test whether you have it in you to drag yourself forward.

When there are chances to get lost for a while, or at least I do… go into a mood of introspection – visualise the sequence of events and come back at it.

This is a personality issue, and I believe in tackling this – there is no perfect way or to get back; there is no ideal time…

I do understand, when in doubt… make a choice towards what you want and accumulate as many responses (it is incredible how humans instinctively select or reject depending on their interests) as possible. Very soon, you will be out of this 50:50 conundrum, and your actions become instinctive. What’s important is – it is ok to be awkward as long as it is part of the learning process.

THE CORE

One needs fuel to execute things in a manner we do. I call ‘the intellectual fuel’ – which is present within and replenished as a result of our behaviour and its outcomes in everyday life. It is one’s core and the primary source of ‘how we do things in a certain way and be unique.’

This core of mine is a very personal thing. It takes ages to realise why we choose one over the other. This understanding of one’s core needs pattern, and that one has to keep doing things repeatedly.

It remains in the comfort zone and seldom takes risks. It is a haven, and it convinces you to believe your view is the way to go. When surroundings favour such thoughts, the result is a blast’, and the little one can stop! Unless you press the self-destruct button by yourself.

What would you do if you are not being judged? Think about it – dwell on it from time to time because this is what stands out with time.

The most challenging task is to be in touch with this core. And the annoying part is; it shows only a part of it and not entirely at once. If you are aware of this part – trust me, you will have never have to worry about the puzzles.

What you think or believe deep inside is what you do?

In most scenarios, one never encounters an ideal match that resonates your core. Either you condition the core to suit the surroundings or be continually looking out for ‘the one.’ In both cases, you invest time, energy to make it comfortable. The 50:50 conundrums continue…..

I have not reached there yet. But all I have understood is that – our life will be determined by the choices we make when we are in doubt. And how we react when things do not go our way is when we get to know more about ourselves.

So here is food for thought – how motivated are you to reach a state where you do just the way you like without any inhibitions? This explains why some people choose to become recluses; stay away from civilizations, and be available to people at their discretion. No, I have not met such a person until now in my life… because I believe that’s the perfect state one can achieve.

As long as you live.. you learn.. and as long as you know… you are not perfect!

TREADING ON THE MILL

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I believe a personal level of acceptance (Read Previous Post – Why I don’t love Running) has helped me understand and look at the concept of ‘running’ in a completely different way. It is nothing elaborate, just that I feel a lot freer whenever I run, jog, or sometimes ‘waun’ (walk+run).

All along, I wondered – why conform to the norms of training? Though I never took any active measures to ponder what or how I wanted to run. Now, I want to know more.

I realise the importance of training to suit my body type and to get better with time. I had some ideas, and reading perspectives and runners’ life stories helped me get few ideas on various elements associated with running.

However, it is important to start testing those perspectives one by one. I ran, ran from time to time before realising I was not enjoying it. Instead of holding on to it tightly, I thought about rediscovering the touch by starting from scratch.

Most would know instinctively what’s möglich and what isn’t? It is a matter of effort, and it might involve some time (proportional to effort) to trust those instincts and enjoy the process of training. Be it anything, work out a pattern. Here’s what I did:

When I realised I could use the treadmill to train myself (I was not too fond of it before), I thought, why I never fancied myself training on a treadmill early. It’s simple – I never gave time to treadmill training nuances and instead preferred running outside, where I could control speeds and choose roads at will.

Now, I still love running outside but what’s changed is that – I do not mind using treadmills. Acclimatising to ever-changing seasonal weather also helped me to decide to give the treadmill a go.

Ok, coming back to the pattern. This technique is a work in progress. More work has been done, so I can comment on the progress I have had so far. Have a target time and commit to engaging yourself on the treadmill – it helped me define a direction because it was a personal project.

I would suggest ‘music’ helps – but it masks the feelings you undergo during this training process. I prefer to hear my feelings out during training and focus on achieving a zone where I just run, oblivious to what’s happening around me. Again, choose the method that aids you to train better!

I get a lot of ideas if I listen to my thoughts on how to make this process of training better.

Start by selecting a raw walking speed, a factor that indicates the km/h or miles/h. When you start to feel comfortable walking, shake up the order – plan to move outside your comfort zone gradually.

I devised a test on myself to simulate the outdoor running conditions at will. No, it isn’t the 3D views of my surroundings! I continuously increase the speed by 0.1 km/h every 30 seconds. I start my training with – say, 7 km/h (again, this is my comfort zone). A gentle walk for about a minute or two, and then I start jogging. The moment I begin to jog, I increase the speed by a factor of 0.1 and continue this trend every 30 seconds.

Now, my concentration is focussed on those 30s and multiply into as many intervals as you can. My target is not to run more than 5km at any point in time. Start at some speed, run, walk, jog for some time and track your progress.

We all love change for the better. The more challenging part is the path. I believe humans are creatures of evolution and not a revolution in the long run. So keeping this in mind, my training involves a gradual increase in speed.

It does not harm you and will only improve your fitness levels and, more importantly, the confidence levels. Who doesn’t want to feel better? This method of training is one such way of creating ‘those feel-good factors’ within you.

And why am I doing this? I believe in testing my abilities and move towards excellence, if not perfection, during my lifetime. So I pick up hobbies (trial and error), habits that trigger my brain, fuel my creativity, and test my limits.

I love experimenting with something I fancy or inclining to shake up the norms from time to time.

I don’t love Running!

RajanThambehalli1 Comment

I took to the treadmill very late in my life as a basis of training. There is something about these treadmills that create a feeling of ‘suffocation’ while I am on it. And this feeling stayed on with me until very recently.

Eureka! It took some beating to accept that I do not prefer treadmills, and more importantly, I am not a massive lover of running. I like running – but I am not a big fan of it. I run when it is needed, I sprint when I least expect it, and I speed walk as a matter of habit.

The bottom line is – I don’t love running. Oh, this sounds very different from saying – ‘I hate running,’ which I don’t. Isn’t it?

Now that ‘particular ego’ has been conquered let me move on. It has been so far smooth sailing in the past few weeks when it comes to running. Mind, body, and my inner soul connects well whenever I wish to run. The only question I had to answer was – How much is too much?

I began expecting too much from college and ended up running 21 km and several 10 km runs. I had injuries to my ankle (not while running), which made me feel not to run for close to two years until the time I started to run again in Doha, Qatar.

After completing a few 10 km runs in the past year and a half (five), I realised one important thing – ‘I do not enjoy running for more than 30 minutes’.

Yes, it’s me! It took me time to understand this level of understanding after running more than an hour all these years. What a revelation, phew!

Now, I revel in my 5 km runs and not sure how long this will last. However, I must admit I never relished so much during these 20 to 30 minutes of the run than I ever had in my ten years of running life. I believe that’s where I learned a key message – “It doesn’t matter where and how you do it as long as you like the process of doing it in the overall scheme of things.” And another important message – ‘Run your race.’

This belief of ‘enjoyment in the process of running’ is my secret of sorts for constant motivation to turn up any given day and run. And while I am at it, one never knows if this expands my boundaries!

And who knows few years down the line, I will be enjoying running the entire duration of 60 minutes or more. For now, I let myself savour this new ‘discovery’ within me.

Like I said – ‘I don’t love running,’ but I am more comfortable with the idea and benefits of it whenever I run these days. And in fact, this discovery has only made me run more regularly and consistently than I ever did in my entire life. To top it, it doesn’t matter where and what I run on!