I Don’t Know

There is a temptation, without a blink of an eye,

aware that how my life has gone so far.

And, yet in the comfort of one’s home,

Deep down my heart cries with the words, I don’t know.

 

The sound of a soul in distress,

do you know how it sounds?

For I have been privy to once in a while,

Not this time as the words I don’t know have never been clearer.

 

Like always it is occasional, so uttered my mind,

as I turned away, to focus on mundane things.

However, it was different this time as my heart pounded,

I don’t know, I don’t know.

 

The external voices, and these internal voices,

I struggled to pay attention to both.

For one I get the minutes in an email,

What about the other? I don’t know, I don’t know.

 

Neither the comforting food is offering solace,

nor chatting with my peers.

I find it hard to have a space of my own,

So that I can know why the voices say, I don’t know, I don’t know.

 

How do I share this feeling, call my mate?

Or should I let it unfold like it always did?

And, at that precise moment, the cries intensified,

I don’t know, I don’t know.

 

I ran, ran and ran till I reached the top of the town,

With no one around, it was a comfort zone.

Mustered all the courage and uttered it loud,

I don’t know, I don’t know.

 

At last, my mind synced with those cries,

As I dived into the precious sounds of silence.

Those few words were a tonic to the ones that affected me,

I don’t know, but I will figure it out.

 

It isn’t easy to utter I don’t know,

Unless backed up by the raw courage.

No one but you can find it,

I don’t know, and it is okay.

 

The path to my immediate life became clearer,

With the journey thus far being memories.

Each step forward is a step unknown,

And, that’s the beauty of it, because I don’t know.

 

Moments later, the fear factor of the unknown returns,

With a promise to never let me go.

The struggle continues, will it be eternal?

Maybe I do know the answer, or maybe I don’t know.

Lose your dreams, you will lose your mind

Yet another casualty, and this time it is at the heart of the European Union. There are disturbing scenes for anyone who tunes into the news channels or when surfing through the internet. While some have plenty on their plate to even think about it, many ask themselves, which place is a safe house in the times we live.

If there is one sure thing, it is the unpredictability of events irrespective of one’s geographical location. Media houses chart the list of happiest places in the world to live and go on to provide the fag end of the list. People strive hard to be in those ‘safe-havens’ while chaos is being plotted parallely.

The question is, will we continue to live in that ‘safe-net’ forever? No annual holidays? No business visits? Or even an unplanned getaway?

Each day, we make plans for the future and work towards it. By the end of the day, we might have compromised a thing or two about living the lives we dreamed of growing up. Plans upon plans pile up while the simple pleasures appear to look silly, even though deep down, that’s precisely what we crave for.

All our plans lead to the road to survival. Some chose muddy paths, while others prefer more acceptable grades of concrete. A few can afford the luxury to avoid roads altogether, while others ride their fortunes for having survived a day.

We are bombarded by the precursors and the possible outcomes of global conflicts of varying nature. We debate among friends, colleagues about the integrity of events, policies, actions, or lack of it. Thanks to the most evolved technology available to our fingertips, we are never far away from the news of disaster.

We can selectively choose. Can we turn it off completely?

Some choose to remain oblivious to what’s happening around them, some choose to ignore it, some get confused, and some get agitated. These gamuts of emotions sum up the world we live in – where despite the ‘safest physical cocoon’ we can create, our minds are volatile and subconsciously introspect to be guarded. So we make more plans to secure ourselves.

Are we missing the point here?

Here is what I have come to terms with, having witnessed some of the global catastrophes in my lifetime.

Every generation had its share of conflicts. Unless we can transport ourselves into the previous generation’s mindsets, we cannot fully comprehend or show empathy to the affected. We can always try.

We can never be genuinely ubiquitous – let’s accept that we are limited by being an individual entity.

Confusions and dilemmas are part of our growth. They are essential for our evolution and play a key role in our learning and decision-making abilities. Clarity is a journey, not a destination.

There will always be responsibilities till our last breath. It is up to us how we look at it, define it, face them and learn from it all.

And this was a game-changer for me:

Defining my dreams and being flexible about it; living my life, chasing after my dreams, and taking time to remain still when I am tempted to be in perpetual motion to reach places. The aforementioned ‘keys’ are proving to be paramount.

The definition of ‘dream’ is subjective and idiosyncratic. And choosing to live my life with loved ones and paint it like an adventure irrespective of ‘complicated’ commitments are the simple remedies I am happy to have taken and wish to take it moving forward.

I saw a Rolling Stones quote printed on a T-shirt that made sense – “Lose your dreams, you will lose your mind” and in a fragile and uncertain global world, working on our dreams continuously is not a bad option to consider.