On my way back home, I was asked few questions concerning relationships and how one needs to succeed.
I did not quite sail on similar lines, but there was an exciting angle which she was pointing out.
While walking back, after this conversation, I did ponder over few things…….
I know there isn’t any formula (universal) for things to work.
Professionally, we have raised standards to such an extent that nowadays, professional life is making its way into our personal lives.
Professional Standards have increased because of competition; I am not sure about personal standards even though there is no competition shortage.
Change is essential, but I am emphasizing the word evolution here. Are we evolving better emotionally from our previous generations?
This question is quite a tricky one. To prove this theory, we have to solve problems or handle the past issues better, and I am sure we would all be solved them quite easily. So we have evolved to cope better.
But, what about adversity, problems, crisis, etc
While men create puzzles, the solutions are also provided by us. In that sense, even our problems would have evolved.
We can never overtake a problem because once we surpass it, it ceases to exist.
We follow a problem or be par with it. So it’s relatively constant between the degree of the issues and their solutions. Problems might sneak a little ahead.
In any case, those were just my thoughts….. Before having dinner
Back to the scene @ Cab
“You knew this girl well, so your life would have been great, staying with someone whom you know well?”
I didn’t completely agree with her assessment.
Yes, it’s a comfort zone to know a person, but it isn’t always the case that one’s life will be great just because we end up marrying the girl we know. It can be made great mutually by exploring many facets of life and with the exchange of information.
I believe the whole life isn’t enough to understand a person or to understand ourselves, so one cannot conclude this will be the way to go about in life.
She shot back another salvo at me:
“Ok, at this moment you are busy with work, surrounded by friends, meeting new people. Don’t you feel lonely and miss this person with whom you can share your personal space.”
Fair point, yes, I did miss at times, and I am honest here. But one cannot continue like this. I have chosen to accept things as they come rather than crib about the whole incident. One has to live with reality and take them gracefully. In a way, the particular person might come in the future, and it’s not like we are never going to get a partner.
She was in a mood to ask me more:
“When the new person comes, comparisons come in, and one constantly compares the new one with the old one. Isn’t it tough, and I will surely regret it if the new one doesn’t match up. And can she fill the void?”
I beg to differ. Because looking at my life, I feel I had thrived when I was out of my comfort zone. Never felt my life was a walk in the park for a long time. I had challenges and had to fight many internal battles to concord with my principles of life. Yes, the temptation is there to go back to my ex, but when one’s instinct doesn’t want it, it doesn’t matter if the other person wants it or not. Also, I hate being regretful, and mostly I avoid such situations by giving my best shot and giving others ample time to decide.
This is not fixed, and it depends from person to person. Unless it’s extreme situations, I might re-consider because I’m not too fond of adamancy in such issues. In any case, I am not missing her…. One has to move on… I can’t stop here… Can I?
Well, she wasn’t going to stop this conversation:
“Can she (new one) fill the void…?”
I feel one cannot fill the void created by a fellow human being. It’s the name that can be filled, not the role. I think my mom can act as a mother to certain misfortunate people to have lost their mothers. But my mom can never replace them. Similarly, each one is unique, and each one has a different role to play.
Smart people appreciate other people’s presence in their lives and acknowledge them for their unique brilliance rather than drawing them into a circle of their thoughts.
I am sorry, I can pretend, or all an act, but no one can replace. If at all, a replacement can happen, then is there any value for the previous one?
Is there any value or respect for mother or god if mothers and Gods could be replaced?
Is there any value if your best sets of people are easily replaced?
Mother is not born; she is created. A woman becomes a mother only when a child is born. I know motherly feelings will be there, and one need not give birth to a child to become a mother. But I hope you do understand what I am emphasizing.
In life, like a mother, each one has different roles…… And I feel it is disrespectful to a concerned person if she is being replaced emotionally by the other one. Instead of looking for similarity, why don’t we look at the uniqueness as long as it keeps us and the concerned person happy?
I look at it this way, and I continued…….
Now, I believe the whole professional setup has a lot to play with our emotional values.
I was on leave for a week; a specific work was supposed to carry out but didn’t happen due to my absence. My boss wasn’t unhappy but felt there needs to be a system wherein we aren’t dependent on an individual while he is absent. Every work must happen irrespective of the concerned person is present or not.
After all, it’s business, Fair enough, and it’s good for one’s ego to know, I am important.
But professionally, I agree, dependency will ruin the progress and stall the growth of a company. Hence a company must never depend on individuals and instead rely on a system.
Unfortunately, like humans aren’t perfect, Will the human-created systems ever are ideal?
Will it stall our growth personally when we depend on someone? Can there be a system wherein you can replace the people one is missing?
She was waiting for me to answer this question.
… I feel facing the harsh realities of missing someone and how one overcomes it is the definition of life. At least, I love it that way, and I have learned to live better that way. Life isn’t always living with people we know; it is also a platform in which we are fortunate to know unfamiliar people. This gives me a chance to acknowledge many people I have known and their different life methods.
It is this journey that one needs to enjoy and keep going forward. It is this story of one’s journey which can awake the somniferous people and de-motivate others.
After all, it is a matter of choice. We weren’t given a selection of our birth location, status, colour, race, etc. But we are given options to undo things or do things that we want.
“Hey, I would love to continue this topic with you….. “- Her stop had come
She got down….
A few minutes later, I got down….
As I reached home, I did realize two things. Life is full of tautologies and contradictions.
And please, I stressed to myself; do not mix one’s professional life with one’s personal life. The standards and expectations are quite different.