Well, I somehow got reminded of an instance that happened few years back. Well, I was artful with things I liked and this was a special feeling, the one which wasn’t Déjà vu.
I used to commute in public transport, distance and many friends were there, so journey was never short of an adventure each day that passed by during the 2 years of pre-university.
Since, there were many people who had to take the same bus at the 11th hour; we had a line of people waiting to get in, so that there isn’t any stampede. I got fascinated by a girl, a fair one, and that’s it. It was her face, which expressed many moods of hers, while she continued talking to her fellow mates.
OMG, but, didn’t give much thought on that. Now, the situation made me to see her more often since I was few places behind and her face was quite visible while we were getting onto the bus. This happened for one week, and each day, she just made me go crazy with her looks. Two weeks, without notice, my heart was penchant towards the familiar face of the fortnight.
It wasn’t a situation wherein she appeared everywhere, but her actual presence on the bus stop and on the bus, triggered a bug inside me, known as “The Crush”. Previously, I would have liked a girl or a woman, but never before I thought so much about it.
Feelings did creep in, but it would cease as soon as she wasn’t visible. Well, talk about fantasy and an angel coming to your life, this was nothing short of it. The best thing about her was the face and the hair. Her smile and only once I did see her crying, or at least with moist eyes.
The spy inside me wanted to know more about her. And at the same time, I didn’t want to be a pedantic in terms of tricks or techniques of getting to know her. I am never comfortable with such things. Sometimes or rather, most of the times, I do let situation do the talking, if not my mouth.
I believe having good intentions about the other person, good will happen since I didn’t have any malicious intentions. It was pure appreciation of a beauty which ignited a soft affectionate corner in me which till date wasn’t discovered. In a way, she would be a reason as to what made me think about lot of things in me.
Previously, I would hate to have persistently thought about a girl. I was recalcitrant in this regard. Preferred, being a recluse in such issues. Rather being weltered by such recurring thoughts.
In a way, I wanted to get rid of the insularity with respect to such feelings.
Initially, my mind was intransigent with my heart. My heart wanted to have a very comfortable zone, and that was to think about her and feel good about it. My mind was focused more on other things like studies, playing cricket and just the normal routine I had at that time.
Ok, my heart won the battle, not like I would regret. But the feeling inside me at that time was good.
Each day, there were few people in between me and her in the bus queue. That’s ok; I didn’t feel like hurrying up things. I just loved the fact of seeing her face and that’s about it. Everything else about her didn’t matter. I didn’t force myself to look into her, but situations made me or rather she used to be visible from where I was.
On the day of my practical exams, I joined the queue. OMG, she is standing in front of me. Black sweat shirt that covered her and blue denims to the compliment the upper attire. Never before in weeks, had I seen her that close.
From the conversation she was having, got to know she was in final year of her bachelor’s degree at Jain College. (B.Com). “Elder to me, 3 years??” my mind thought.
“How does it matter, its not like you want to be friends with her, you like her face and that’s it, why you thinking so much, Just relish the moment that you are close to her and more importantly to her face”, my heart spoke.
We both got into the bus, and believe it or not, she was right in front of me. I had a pencil and I was marking few pages on my book. Out Came a sheet of paper and for the first time, I started scribbling something on the bus. I still have it with me.
This is what I wrote:
Slow and steady along the road,
A bus moved carrying some load.
There was an angel sitting in the front seat,
My heart woke up, to rejoice the visual treat.
As the bus moved from one place to another place;
My heart gathered to race with some pace,
Her lovely smile made me mad,
Seeing her cry, I was sad.
Her rosy lips and silky hair,
Better was the face, clear and fair.
Her hypno eyes and catchy dimple;
Made others girls around her look very simple.
She will be remembered by me time to time,
Thought my heart, she would be mine.
Her stop was about to come, she prepared to get down,
My mind told the heart not to bog down.
At last, the stop came finally,
Which my heart thought would never come initially,
All these days, couldn’t muster the courage to talk,
All I did was to see her walk.
Little, did I realize, I had just managed to write a poem which rhymed. I was fascinated by rhythmic poems and in a way, my heart managed to disabuse my mind, which had a different mindset altogether before seeing this Angel.
It’s good to always listening to one’s heart. It speaks the truth and all it does is; it pinches, whenever we want to get out of our comfort zone. Heart just cannot listen to any sort of dirge playing.
At the same time, one must not allow our minds to get into a torpor state by listening to our heart. One must concur, and nurture our heart in such a way that, in adversity, heart must help us remember the good things we did instead of making us feel bad and miserable about the situation. It must make us feel comfortable in the times of agony and pain.
Listen to the inner voice; it comes in handy while shaping our destiny.
And in a way, she did trigger me and now when I look back, those few weeks were very important and crucial in my life. Talking about one’s feelings, well, she did make me shout about it if not talk about it.
After that day, I saw her once more. An Angel came and departed.