I discovered a lot of things about myself over past one week by introspection and how to improve things so that I can get the joy of seeing others around me happy…. if I am not all that happy.
Somewhere I was thinking, by being nice to someone else, is it me being selfish??
Then it confused me for a while, and then inside me, a voice kept telling
… “Do you feel bad about the way you behave in your life or say
I said “NO”…..
“Do you feel bad when you do not get acknowledged for the efforts you have
put in”, the inner voice asked me…
“I said, sometimes I do feel bad, because I really don’t know whether
what I did was right or wrong and since there is no reply from the
other end, hence no feedback, so I get confused at times, I then go into the phase of introspection and actually I don’t feel that bad at the end of it, if its good, good, if its bad, scope for improvement”
Later the voice asked me” Do u feel at peace and joy when you see
others happy and being joy”
I said” Yes, sometimes I feel, the purpose of me being born is to make
others happy and seeing their smile and them being happy, I will be happy,
No doubts about that, making others feel comfortable and happy is my
He asked me” What if you are trying to please people?”
I said” Oh I got it! It’s my instinct which drives to make others life
happy, as long as this instinct survives and receives proper fodder
for survival, it is gonna be ok….. Being a human, it is little tough
sometimes, but then the overall picture comes to my mind, I just think,
I shouldn’t be bothered about trivial things, my life is gonna be
great in the path I am traveling now, all I need to do is stay where
I am and just move along the same road.
There will be many pot holes and speed breakers and many different roads, but it is entirely up to me to become aware of them so that I don’t lose my way when I arrive
at a junction, this is where I will be meeting many beautiful and not
so beautiful people, there is something I feel I can do by being
myself, so that I can cheer other’s life for a moment when they
desperately need it, but they never asked for it.
The joy I get when I see others being happy, I feel content and if lucky they are gonna be my companions for the rest of my life, if not, its unfortunate that we
just met at a traffic signal or say at a junction or a pit stop.
There will be many such occasions where we all gonna bump into each other
and get a chance to review, if at all we can become companions again or we might not get a chance.
But sometimes, I thinking of a junction ahead than about the junction I am
at present is not all that good. One needs to enjoy one junction at a time
and then progress further, you never know, Kal Ho Na Ho.
But it’s worth giving a shot, there’s nothing to lose. By giving away
something of one’s is never losing, we lose things which were not at
all ours in the first place, but how superficially it appears all the
The voice said” Enough of your lecture man, when you know what
needs to be done then why you pestering me with such questions?”
I said” Just for kicks, that’s all….. To be frank it’s for a moment I feel I need someone who can comfort me with words and assure me that “everything is gonna be alright”, and make me understand the person I am, sometimes I lose track on such things and start thinking too much, that’s when the calming influence is necessary, but this is just a passing phase and after some time I tend to pick myself and will get back to good, but words can make me better. If I don’t get words from my dear ones I look upon you so
I just ask you (inner voice) and you are my best critic too, hence I shall always be grounded by your words”
The Voice got frustrated and said” Enough man, you are bugging, I guess you would have bugged people also by your talks and that’s why they don’t prefer talking to
you” I said for supposedly the last time” True in a way, but I have seen people who
never speak that much to me but still feel good about me, and for few people they love listening and with few others I just don’t speak, just keep listening to them, hence its about being compatible and flexible with the people I meet, its tough, but instead of expecting them to change, I would love to change so that even they can change sometime for the better. It’s leading by example you see rather than accepting my inability and not trying to change.
The voice being adamant asked “How do I say this with surety?”
“Well that’s what is called my gut instinct , that’s enough for me, if I feel good inside, that will be fine, in a true Metallica way ‘Nothing else matters’ coz what matters is being healthy inside and automatically everything takes care of itself.”
Just when my mom called me for breakfast and very quickly I made a deal with my inner voice.
The voice eventually agreed and to an extent promised that he is going to be honest with his opinions inside me and I promised him, as long as he is honest in giving his opinions, I shall remain honest and translate his honesty into my daily life.