"Out of my Instinct Zone"

Few things in life must not be changed, yes I indeed agree with it, unless the replacements are worth for a change.

An instinct each one possesses is a unique strength that demarcates individuals, their decision-making abilities and choice making.

To me personally, I have always trusted my instincts to take control over most situations. It’s not a maxim that I have set; in my brain. It’s a routine or one can say a mundane activity that controls most (99%) of the decisions wherein I do not have to think so much. It’s more in-built.

While on work or doing something different, requires fair amount of new ideas, Can I rely upon my instincts? Well, this question was asked and I did find a solution that seems apt so far.

When one makes decisions we back our experience, expertise and other’s experience. We look into prevailing situations and then end up taking a decision. Before executing, sometimes, I have encountered two possibilities.

One that is defined by logic; wherein one can come to some conclusion with the events that have taken place. This seems to be the best possible solution because it can be backed by certain data or events that have occurred previously. It doesn’t leave much scope for ifs, but’s and eliminates most of the uncertainties.

On the other hand, I have this personality called ‘Mr. Instinct’ who has this sense for the changes that are likely to happen in the future. The logic is very ill logical in this case and it simply doesn’t have a set pattern to explain the unfolding of the events.

Most of my struggles in life were to convince my mind, which takes sound decisions based on facts. Where as instincts, which creates its own route map, tries to convince me to take a decision based on his ill defined logic. But it works trust me.

Dare I say, very rarely I have gone against my instincts. I am indeed fortunate to have a mind and an instinct and their theories to agree to disagree. They agree on most terms and other times, one eventually compromises saying I had made a wrong decision and ends up supporting the other decision.

For the first time, in my life, I have taken a decision that is in direct conflict with my instincts. Now, instincts aren’t behaving the same way. It is indicating the past events and the present situations to keep me reminded about my decision.

If I am unsure, I let time do the talking. I wanted time for making an important decision in my life. I know it could have been a straightforward decision for the state of mind I was.

Finally after weeks on self – assessment, I came to conclusion. I am not backing my instincts.

I am backing my beliefs and my theory towards life. These are logical.

Wait a minute – “you just can’t take decisions without convincing me, hey look, I understand I have difference in views but convince me first and then go ahead with your decision” – Instinct in a repulsive mood.

This made me think a bit more…. C’mon after all someone’s asking me something and I should give. If instinct is asking me to think over again, then I must.

After few days, Fine, Mr. Instinct, I am again going against you. I know it hurts or say it will hurt me in the future for having gone against you or for having expressed my inability to convince you, but I am sure you will be there to support me in other things apart from this. This will be a nice change for both of us.

What made me go against my instincts??

I always believed, in order to attain a greater sense of achievement in life, its not what you conquer, its not what you did, its how you did.

I have few beliefs, which I have acquired as a result of living this life, watching, traveling, reading and by having conversations.

“One must always give another chance, I know it might not work out, but I am not going to lose anything because the equilibrium of karma puts it this way, when you are gaining something, you are bound to lose. Unless we do not experience we cannot say what we gained or lost, we can just have an idea, although one cannot fathom it.” – First reason

“I always told my friends if you want something in life, go ask for it. You will at least get clarity in terms of response you get. So, if you want something from someone, go ask for it. At times, life is too short to play mind and understanding games, one need to express to get what they want.” – Second Reason

Now, someone close (is it?? Asked instinct) to you comes all of a sudden and asks for something… What do you do???

This time I didn’t rely upon my instincts for memories I had. Instead I have taken this as a challenge to convince my instincts that let time heal this… I know time alone cannot heal; it’s my ability to ward off negative energies from my instincts and also the concerned person and situations. If all are in same plane or at least align in one particular direction, then future seems bright or else, I need to answer this question from a book I read….

On the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, which is considered to be highest peak in Africa, there is a carcass of a jackal on the dry snow layers at the peak. Now the question is, why would a jackal go to such an area in the first place, what made it to go such a distance?
Did it know it wouldn’t be getting any food or shelter over there? Why did it go??

I know the answer as to why it went there. Sometimes, we do sense the scent wrong. It seems foolishness for a jackal to go that far. But it just followed the scent and in the end it turned out to be the wrong scent. It followed its instincts and it failed…. Or I would like to put it this way; this so called ‘failure’ became a great example for my life.

I know Ernst Hemingway mentioned the puzzle…. But the solution to it is entirely mine or should I say interpretation based on my experience. The difference between a man and an animal is that man is capable of establishing priorities.

I might change this in the future… because I really don’t know whether I would also end up following the wrong scent of life… I really haven’t followed jackal’s life to come to a proper conclusion.
At present I can say…. I have challenged my norms and for at least one issue I am out of my instinct zone…. It’s a battle nevertheless to prove my decision right to my instincts.

Ultimately, this isn’t any wish. Being with a person I like is a goal…. a long term. This isn’t like any other unformed wish like “I want to make money, I want to win or I want to find true love”. These wishes aren’t goals as per my definition. I want to enjoy the intermediate steps associated with the goals. Analyze them, correct whenever necessary and keep moving on.

At last, this is the hardest part….. Having gone out of my instincts, I have to ensure I retain the confidence and be able to stick to whatever I have decided upon.

Edison remarked “Success is defined as 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration”.

Well, I am all ready for 99% perspiration…. Unless and until I get 1 % inspiration from time to time….

From who?

It’s a million dollar question…..

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