Roman Holiday (1953)

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Many movies were made in the 1950s; I enjoyed watching the lead actors and mainly actresses of that era essaying the roles with their screen brilliance. One that comes to my mind is “Audrey Hepburn.” I had watched Sabrina and Charade before I could get a grab on “Roman Holiday.”

Her portrayal of Princess Ann was picture perfect. Her boredom of being the princess and not getting a chance to lead the life she wanted made her uncomfortable almost every time. She decides Rome to be the place to escape from the monotonous routine and get a breather.

The princess happens to bump into Joe Bradley (Gregory Peck), a press reporter who is in serious need of a story. His discovery of Princess Ann makes him interested all the more than just be captured by beauty. And she was unaware of his motives.

Princess Ann: I could do some of the things I’ve always wanted to.
Joe Bradley: Like what?
Princess Ann: Oh, you can’t imagine. I-I’d do just whatever I liked all day long.
Joe Bradley: Tell you what. Why don’t we do all those things together?
Princess Ann: But don’t you have to work?
Joe Bradley: Work? No. Today’s going to be a holiday.
Princess Ann: But you want to do a lot of silly things?
Joe Bradley: [He takes her hand] … First wish? One sidewalk cafe, coming’ right up. I know just the place—Rocca’s.

She wants to tour Rome. Smokes her first cigarette, Dance, have a haircut, ride a Vespa, swim, and whatnot. She wanted to have a holiday just the way she would have preferred.

Photos were clicked; most of them would have been an embarrassment for the princess but a fortune for Joe and his photographer friend. As the day comes to an end, Romance does creep in. At the same time, she realizes it is just about time to get back; she asks Joe to drop her back. Joe knew, and he didn’t try to stop her. Suddenly the motive of using photographs didn’t seem to be the way to go.

Princess Ann: I have to leave you now. I’m going to that corner there and turn. You must stay in the car and drive away. Promise not to watch me go beyond the corner. Just drive away and leave me as I leave you.
Joe Bradley: All right.
Princess Ann: I don’t know how to say goodbye. I can’t think of any words.
Joe Bradley: Don’t try.
Princess Ann: At midnight, I’ll turn into a pumpkin and drive away in my glass slipper.
Joe Bradley: And that will be the end of the fairy tale.

The last part, when Princess Anne comes to terms with her responsibility, openly faces Rome’s press. She gets to see Joe and his photographer friend.

Reporter: And what, in the opinion of Your Highness, is the outlook for friendship among nations?
Princess Ann: I have every faith in it, as I have faith in relations between people.
Joe Bradley: May I say, speaking for my press service: we believe Your Highness’s faith will not be unjustified.
Princess Ann: I am so glad to hear you say it.
Another reporter: Which of the cities visited did Your Highness enjoy the most?
Princess Ann: Each, in its own way, was unforgettable. It would be difficult to – Rome! By all means, Rome. I will cherish my visit here in memory as long as I live.

This movie’s highlight is a scene’ Mouth of Truth’: Such beautiful improvisation by Gregory Peck towards the end. A lot has been expressed in this scene, And this, to me, is my favorite scene in the movie.


Rather than narrating, it’s worth watching this classic.

Released in 1953, the Roman holiday was the biggest grosser and an all-time classic. Starring: Audrey Hepburn (debut as a leading actress, and eventually won Best Actress Oscar), Gregory Peck, whose expressions and resonant voice is simply breathtaking.

Watch out for the Vespa adventure. And this film was entirely shot in Rome, Italy.

THE FLAT TYRES

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A few weeks back, on a Saturday morning, I saw my car tyre being flat. I was in a hurry. Thanks to my neighbour, I rode a two-wheeler, got a puncture fixing boy. He didn’t have the tools to attend my problem; instead, he replaced the flat tyre with a Stepney, the only one present. He took the flat tyre with him and said he would get it fixed.

Ten days went by; I hadn’t been to the shop to pick it up. Busy…. I do not know what busy means these days. I know it is different for different people. If I look back, I should have picked it up. I was lazy…. Let’s face it.

“My uncle was undergoing an operation at St.Johns hospital. My mom wanted to see how he was doing. That evening I came home early so that we could go. It was 730 pm, and we were suddenly on our way to the hospital. Suddenly, I sensed a feeling of imbalance. I thought the roads were bumpy, but it wasn’t, and I stopped the car on the side.

The rear left tyre was flat. I was livid for a moment, say a few seconds. Reality does bite hard. It bites me soon enough at times to calm me down quickly.

Luckily, a few meters ahead, I saw a puncture shop. Since there was no Stepney, the tyre had to be fixed, and it was courtesy of a long nail, the tyre was punctured. Two tiny holes were enough to get the tyre flat. He set it.”

We could manage to meet our uncle, although he wasn’t in a position to recognize us. Such situations cannot be explained. It has to be experienced; one can empathize.

On our way back, it was 1030 in the night. I could sense a similar vibration, and to my guess, it was right a flat tyre. Again!!!

I expected front left tyre, but to my surprise, it was the same tyre that got its attention a few hours back. Turn left; it was a puncture shop.

He had some latest mechanical tools that could fix this problem in significantly less time.

I realized how lucky I was. “Tomorrow is a big day; I have to drive long distance, what if something happens and I am stuck in the middle of now where with no Stepney”, wondered I.

Karma undoubtedly ensured I wasn’t punished for my laziness. I learnt an important lesson, not to ignore certain things that seem so unimportant from outside.

The previous guy failed to sense there was another tiny hole, tiniest of cavities.

The new guy fixed the tyre. Off we went.

The next day, I wasn’t left with many options. I had to rush to my customer early. I was cautious about my driving. Two days later, I got my Stepney back. It was a relief.

Lessons come through actions; they are learnt more through our own mistakes than wisdom.

I do not know how well I would have learnt from this, but I thought this was something I could share.

"Out of my Instinct Zone"

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Few things in life must not be changed. Yes, I agree with it, unless the replacements are worth a change.

An instinct each one possesses is a unique strength that demarcates individuals, their decision-making abilities, and their choice.

To me, personally, I have always trusted my instincts to take control over most situations. It’s not a maxim that I have set; in my brain. It’s a routine or a mundane activity that controls most (99%) decisions wherein I do not have to think so much. It’s more in-built.

While at work or doing something different requires a fair amount of new ideas, Can I rely upon my instincts? Well, this question was asked, and I did find a solution that seems apt so far.

When one makes decisions, we back our experience, expertise, and other’s experience. We look into prevailing situations and then end up making a decision. Before executing, sometimes, I have encountered two possibilities.

One that is defined by logic, wherein one can conclude with the events that have taken place. This seems to be the best possible solution because it can be backed by specific data or events previously. It doesn’t leave much scope for ifs, but’s and eliminates most of the uncertainties.

On the other hand, I have this personality called ‘Mr. Instinct’ who has this sense for the changes that are likely to happen in the future. The logic is very illogical in this case, and it only doesn’t have a set pattern to explain the events’ unfolding.

Most of my life struggles were to convince my mind, which takes sound decisions based on facts. Whereas instincts, which create its route map, persuade me to decide based on his ill-defined logic. But it works, trust me.

Very rarely have I gone against my instincts. I am indeed fortunate to have a mind and an intuition and their theories to agree to disagree. They agree on most terms, and other times, one eventually compromises, saying I had made a wrong decision and ended up supporting the different conclusion.

For the first time, I have taken a decision that is in direct conflict with my instincts in my life. Now, instincts aren’t behaving the same way. It is indicating the past events and the present situations to keep me reminded about my decision.

If I am unsure, I let time do the talking. I wanted time to make an important decision in my life. I know it could have been a straightforward decision for the state of mind I was in.

Finally, after weeks on self – assessment, I concluded. I am not backing my instincts.

I am backing my beliefs and my theory towards life. These are logical.

Wait a minute – “you just can’t make decisions without convincing me, hey look, I understand I have a difference in views but convince me first and then go ahead with your decision” – Instinct in a repulsive mood.

This made me think a bit more…. Come on, after all, someone’s asking me something, and I should give. If instinct is asking me to think over again, then I must.

After few days, Fine, Mr. Instinct, I am again going against you. I know it hurts or says it will hurt me in the future for having gone against you or for having expressed my inability to convince you, but I am sure you will be there to support me in other things apart from this. This will be a nice change for both of us.

What made me go against my instincts??

I always believed, to attain a greater sense of achievement in life, it’s not what you conquer; it’s not what you did; it’s how you did.

I have few beliefs, which I have acquired due to living this life, watching, traveling, reading, and having conversations.

“One must always give another chance, I know it might not work out, but I am not going to lose anything because the equilibrium of karma puts it this way, when you are gaining something, you are bound to lose. Unless we do not experience we cannot say what we gained or lost, we can have an idea, although one cannot fathom it.” – First reason

“I always told my friends if you want something in life, go ask for it. You will at least get clarity in terms of the response you get. So, if you want something from someone, ask for it. At times, life is too short to play mind and understanding games; one needs to express to get what they want.” – Second Reason

Now, someone close (is it?? Asked instinct) to you comes all of a sudden and asks for something… What do you do???

This time I didn’t rely upon my instincts for memories I had. Instead, I have taken this as a challenge to convince my instincts that let time heal this… I know time alone cannot heal; it’s my ability to ward off negative energies from my instincts and the concerned person and situations. If all are on the same plane or at least align in one particular direction, then the future seems bright, or else, I need to answer this question from a book I read….

On the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, which is considered the highest peak in Africa, there is a jackal carcass on the height’s dry snow layers.

Now the question is, why would a jackal go to such an area in the first place? What made it go such a distance? Did it know it wouldn’t be getting any food or shelter over there? Why did it go?? Why did Ernst Hemingway bring up this in his book, The Snows of Kilimanjaro?

I know the answer as to why it went there. Sometimes, we do sense the scent wrong. It seems foolishness for a jackal to go that far. But it just followed the scent, and in the end, it turned out to be the wrong scent. It followed its instincts, and it failed….

Or I would like to put it this way; this so-called ‘failure’ became an excellent example for my life.

I know Ernst Hemingway mentioned the puzzle…. But the solution to it is entirely mine, or should I say interpretation, based on my experience. The difference between a man and an animal is that man is capable of establishing priorities.

I might change this in the future… because I don’t know whether I would also end up following the wrong scent of life… I haven’t followed jackal’s life to come to a proper conclusion.
At present, I can say…. I have challenged my norms, and for at least one issue, I am out of my instinct zone…. It’s a battle nevertheless to prove my decision right to my instincts.

Ultimately, this isn’t any wish. Being with a person I like is a goal…. a long term. This isn’t like any other unformed wish like “I want to make money, I want to win, or I want to find true love.” These wishes aren’t goals as per my definition. I want to enjoy the intermediate steps associated with the objectives. Analyze them, correct them whenever necessary and keep moving on.

At last, this is the most challenging part….. Having gone out of my instincts, I have to ensure I retain the confidence and stick to whatever I have decided upon.

Edison remarked, “Success is defined as 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration”.

Well, I am all ready for 99% perspiration…. Unless and until I get 1 % inspiration from time to time….

From who?

It’s a million-dollar question…..

The bitter taste of Orange…

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The fascination with Orange… not the fruit, just the pulp…was something I always cherish to date.

It wasn’t just the color of the pulp. But the soccer team of the Netherlands caught my attention during the 1998 World Cup. Ok, I was still a Brazil fan, I still am to an extent, but none can argue my passion for the Orangee team. My friends know that…

Barring the 1988 Euro Championships, Dutch have never been able to win any major title. Too bad for a country that is second to none in the talent they have. I dare say, even Brazil can be taken off if the Dutch play to their potential.

If talent were alone a consideration, you would have many successful people in this world. Test of nerves and how a team copes with adversity and the bounce-back ability makes other successful teams go one touch ahead than Dutch.

There are teams like Italy (I love their defence), Argentina, Nigeria in their heydays, and too many teams. But for me, it’s been four teams that always catch my attention.

Dutch, Germany, Brazil, and Italy – They are my pick.

Marco Van Basten would have loved to add his player’s medal, which he won in 1988 after scoring one of the best goals ever in history.

One would like to know what’s wrong with the Dutch soccer team. Rinus Michel’s legacy with his total football concept and the genius of Johann Cryuff in the ‘1970s makes me wonder why they can’t jump the final hurdle to perfection.

They lost in the finals of the 1974 and 1978 World Cup finals. As they were more famously known, the precision of’ Clockwork Orange wasn’t in sync for the big games.

I would love in the future to make a case study of Dutch football… Right now, I am on Italian football history, or should I term it ‘Calcio.’

My disappointments make me not script an emotional script because; I do not want to criticize the Dutch for their football. I have come to terms with time with their mood swings with a swing of flair and brilliance to the sheer clueless, cornered football they play.

My status message was ‘Go Orangee’ for the past week. And they just went away. If one looks at history, you can sense why coach Van basten didn’t react to Russia’s loss. People, who have followed Dutch football, claim it isn’t a shock because they can lose any time.

Also, I did get to know that people in Holland just went about their lives after witnessing this loss. They have only got used to this. Hats off to them for being stoic in general and look at the positive aspects of Dutch football.

I didn’t watch the match; I was traveling from Chennai to Bangalore. The first thing I did was to check the score. Well, I don’t know…. Forget it… sometimes it’s better not to think…

But I end up thinking …. And rest all I say is my fascination for Dutch…. I mean for the soccer team.

Remember these titans: My pick for the all-time favourite Dutch team

Ronald de Boer, Frank De Boer, Jaap Staam, Edwin Van der Saar, Giovanni Bronckhurst, Marc Overmars, Rudd Van Nistelrooy, Arjen Robben, Patrick Kluivert, Clarence Seedorf, Michael reiziger, Danny Blind, Edgar Davids, Marco Van Basten, Johnny Heitiga, Ronald Koeman, Andy Van Der Myde, Frank Rijkaard, Rudd Guilt, Wesley Sneijder, Johann Cryuff, Philip Cocu and last but not the least my all time favourite Dennis Bergkemp.

Love Story – Or should i say "My Story"

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Is it fair to love someone and just be happy with it?
Is it fair to love someone when you get to know the concerned person is in love with another person?
Is it fair to love someone when you are not sure the other person loves the concerned person as much as you do?

To be honest, I am not sure why I am asking these questions when I already feel that I am in love. Maybe, these questions are to see how people react when I say more about the person I am in love with.

Even if I get the answers to my above questions I don’t think I will be disturbed and at the same time I must shed my egoistic jacket when I am convinced that the other person loves the concerned more than me. I know there are two involved for the same girl. It’s really interesting.

Considering it was the same way both the guys met the concerned girl, one must give both parties a fair run.

Ok, in this case, I am late, I don’t know by how many days but I am not the first guy.
Will I be the victim of first cum first service?
Or, will justice prevail to show that you need to weigh your options before zeroing it on one?

The universal answer, “Time shall heal”. What a brilliant solution…… Unfortunately, I am way behind in terms of tolerance but at least I am improving to understand the beauty of this universal solution.

People talk about confidence and I can say my confident quotient was high when I was in love. Person irrelevant, but I always feel, loving someone increased my confidence levels and in turn my appetite. It still continues to do. I think it is same for everyone.

I have heard things like ‘Rising in love’ and ‘falling in love’. To be honest I still cannot fathom these two statements but for the fact– Rising in love is more optimistic and a fundoo statement to make than falling in love.

Does falling in love sound negative? If falling is negative when compared with rising, is falling in love a negative thing.

I was wondering, people including myself have spoken about rising to new heights, but I haven’t seen anyone talk about falling to new depths.

I have and I feel there isn’t any negativity about it. In fact, falling to new depths have made me dig deeper to make myself aware of my foundation and it has made me much stronger and now I know certain other ways to bolster my foundation.

I don’t know if I would have tasted the success by reaching the top, would my airy ego allow or say settle down on earth for a moment? It’s something I can comment only when I have climbed the ladder of my definition of success.

Loving someone isn’t a crime even when I am not getting the same love from the other.
However there are few things that needs to be under ethical check and as long as I do not cross those boundaries, I don’t see any harm in loving someone.

According to me, loving someone doesn’t mean she belongs entirely to me or she is my property. To me, loving someone is all about a feeling, a feeling inside which reminds me about my ability to love someone and not hate them. It’s about seeing the one I love being happy irrespective of how she chooses to be happy. Of course, it’s the internal happiness not the plastic happiness.

Well, people might term “one way love” being useless. True, to a certain extent depending on one’s intention and definition of what love is. In a way, ego controls most of our decisions and so do our interpretations of love.

I love her; people may call it infatuation, since it isn’t the usual mundane love story. When I do tell about my love, mostly I will be sounding like an idiot according to general public. All I say, I might sound like an idiot, but even I know what love is.

I am writing so that, I want to respect the new girl of my life. I know, chances are slim about us being together, but I won’t be disappointed either. It hurts but isn’t this the other side of joy?

I wont be taking it in a bad way if things doesn’t go as I like because I didn’t know when I fell in love and my mistake is, I didn’t ask her “Can I love you ………?”

One thing is sure, whether she will be a part of me or not, I still won’t have ill feelings about having met her and to have gone through not so pleasant moments. I like the honesty in which she put forth her status quo and that to me was something which normal human wouldn’t dare. In a way, I found a person who prefers to take things head on. She is beautiful, but it was the honesty which captured me towards her.

If I look back, I have moved on. All I can say, I couldn’t have imagined myself being in a position where in I would be able to love a girl again, at least so early after having learnt few lessons from the previous. I know love happens and for me it has happened.

The fizz might reduce after some reality check but nothing can stop me from loving her at least as a friend. Like an angel she came, reignited the lost passion in me. To my dear, I will always remember you for the role of a catalyst you played in my life. No one except me can acknowledge this. It might be crazy that I am gonna remember you always but I also know it’s completely humane to remember someone, if not one’s past.

This is me, coming out completely from an incomplete love story or should I say ‘like story’ because the girl before her was confused whether she loved me or liked me.
People eventually realize what’s best for them and move on or at least they try to move on irrespective of whether they really like to move on.

This is my story and I am only happy and thrilled to have rediscovered the touch of loving someone……………

Memoirs of my departed crush!!!

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Two events last night made me remember her…

One of them has to be my friend Archie’s blog on singers, and the other one was the video I happened to see on MTV …

It brought back the memories of 1995. I always listened to songs but never really had a favorite voice that I used to hear often. Mom had many favourite singers, but I was just about listening to songs that pleased my ears.

I remember in 95, Anupama Verma did a video for Biddu. The song and video somehow became my favourite. I got the CD a few years later as a gift for buying an audio player.

Guess I got loads of pop Indian music collections, and this album was placed right after Alisha’s “Made in India” in the gift wrap.

I wasn’t aware it was the remix version for three years running since 1995. I was in love with the song more than the video. I know Anupama Verma was hot that time (she looked great in last year’s Big Boss as well), but it was the voice that kept me interested. After watching Alisha, Anaida, and other female pop singers, my usual foundation was Anupama Verma to have sung this song.

Till I got hold of the CD and to my surprise, it wasn’t Anupama Verma who turned out to be the singer. I didn’t know much about this singer.
I asked my brother about her; he mentioned a couple of movie references… most notably Qurbani made in the 1980s starring Feroz Khan, Vinod Khanna, and Zeenat Aman. Hmmm, I loved those songs, and when I listened to the Qurbani album all over again, I could connect the voice.

I am talking about the Pakistani Sensation, Nazia Hasan.

I never wanted to know about her life except that I was fida over her voice, especially the ‘Boom Boom’ song.

I didn’t have Internet at that time. Even when I had an opportunity in the late ’90s, searching about Nazia Hasan was not the priority considering the amount of money I spent on Internet café.

In 2000, I got a collector’s edition copy of Film fare that listed all the previous winners from the 1950s when the award was instituted.

In the archives, Nazia Hasan – 1980- Best Playback Singer, and later that day, I got to know she was born in 1965. I wondered the whole day; she was as old as me when she picked up the award.

Later, I saw the picture of hers, and; I was so attracted to her…. I said to myself, “Man, I am sure she is not going to go out of my memories.” She will be there, I was a big fan of her voice, but now I was a big fan of her, period. You can call it to crush if one wants for my fascination towards Nazia.

All I had listened, was remix songs of hers, barring few originals.

In 2000, came a song – sometime in May during my holidays…. I remember the song that goes this way, “Aankhen Milane wala…”. I knew it was Nazia Hasan’s voice.

Sadly, a few months later, I got to know she passed away. That was one of the days wherein we had our colleges shut because of Rajkumar’s kidnapping episode, and when I heard this news for the first time, I was shocked, and I expressed my dissatisfaction to my brother, who was equally hit by this news.

She continued to live on….memories of many like me.

In 2003, when MTV was showcasing a unique program on retro Hindi music, I happened to see a video of Rati Agnihotri (audio was muted because of a phone conversation I was having). I just ended the phone call, and what I hear, Yes, the familiar words… Boom Boom….

I was like, OMG, is this the original song? All I got was the last 40-50 seconds of that song. Of course, the saving grace was the movie title that appeared in the end. The movie’s name was” Star.”

I happened to see the video later that week. Maybe, I was destined to see it because; I was so desperate to see the original video.
As soon as I got the taste of the original, out went Anupama Verma’s remix song. From that day till date, I love the original and continue to so.

Thanks to YouTube, I can have this song – In fact, I have tried many video shops for this movie… I wasn’t lucky. Considering the money I spend on buying movie DVDs, I must admit, this, as a big failure on my part.

Today early morning after a goof-up concerning surprising one of my friends on his birthday, he surprised us and made me sit at home rather than barging our way to his house early in the morning. I was a bit sad that I couldn’t wish him personally (which I have done over the past many years). Anyway, I just laughed at what happened.

After a while, from nowhere, I was thinking about Nazia and wondered, “I haven’t seen many people of my age appreciate Nazia’s talent.”

While the song ‘Boom Boom’ is playing on my player, I am giving the final touches to this, on one of the fascinating women I have known, never mind if it wasn’t in person.

Afterall she was just 35…. when she said… Alvida….for one final time.

A serious gab while we were in the cab

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On my way back home, I was asked few questions concerning relationships and how one needs to succeed.

I did not quite sail on similar lines, but there was an exciting angle which she was pointing out.

While walking back, after this conversation, I did ponder over few things…….
I know there isn’t any formula (universal) for things to work.

Professionally, we have raised standards to such an extent that nowadays, professional life is making its way into our personal lives.

Professional Standards have increased because of competition; I am not sure about personal standards even though there is no competition shortage.

Change is essential, but I am emphasizing the word evolution here. Are we evolving better emotionally from our previous generations?

This question is quite a tricky one. To prove this theory, we have to solve problems or handle the past issues better, and I am sure we would all be solved them quite easily. So we have evolved to cope better.

But, what about adversity, problems, crisis, etc

While men create puzzles, the solutions are also provided by us. In that sense, even our problems would have evolved.

We can never overtake a problem because once we surpass it, it ceases to exist.

We follow a problem or be par with it. So it’s relatively constant between the degree of the issues and their solutions. Problems might sneak a little ahead.

In any case, those were just my thoughts….. Before having dinner

Back to the scene @ Cab

She asked:

“You knew this girl well, so your life would have been great, staying with someone whom you know well?”

I didn’t completely agree with her assessment.

Yes, it’s a comfort zone to know a person, but it isn’t always the case that one’s life will be great just because we end up marrying the girl we know. It can be made great mutually by exploring many facets of life and with the exchange of information.

I believe the whole life isn’t enough to understand a person or to understand ourselves, so one cannot conclude this will be the way to go about in life.

She shot back another salvo at me:

“Ok, at this moment you are busy with work, surrounded by friends, meeting new people. Don’t you feel lonely and miss this person with whom you can share your personal space.”

Fair point, yes, I did miss at times, and I am honest here. But one cannot continue like this. I have chosen to accept things as they come rather than crib about the whole incident. One has to live with reality and take them gracefully. In a way, the particular person might come in the future, and it’s not like we are never going to get a partner.

She was in a mood to ask me more:

“When the new person comes, comparisons come in, and one constantly compares the new one with the old one. Isn’t it tough, and I will surely regret it if the new one doesn’t match up. And can she fill the void?”

I beg to differ. Because looking at my life, I feel I had thrived when I was out of my comfort zone. Never felt my life was a walk in the park for a long time. I had challenges and had to fight many internal battles to concord with my principles of life. Yes, the temptation is there to go back to my ex, but when one’s instinct doesn’t want it, it doesn’t matter if the other person wants it or not. Also, I hate being regretful, and mostly I avoid such situations by giving my best shot and giving others ample time to decide.

This is not fixed, and it depends from person to person. Unless it’s extreme situations, I might re-consider because I’m not too fond of adamancy in such issues. In any case, I am not missing her…. One has to move on… I can’t stop here… Can I?

Well, she wasn’t going to stop this conversation:

“Can she (new one) fill the void…?”

I feel one cannot fill the void created by a fellow human being. It’s the name that can be filled, not the role. I think my mom can act as a mother to certain misfortunate people to have lost their mothers. But my mom can never replace them. Similarly, each one is unique, and each one has a different role to play.

Smart people appreciate other people’s presence in their lives and acknowledge them for their unique brilliance rather than drawing them into a circle of their thoughts.

I am sorry, I can pretend, or all an act, but no one can replace. If at all, a replacement can happen, then is there any value for the previous one?
Is there any value or respect for mother or god if mothers and Gods could be replaced?

Is there any value if your best sets of people are easily replaced?
Mother is not born; she is created. A woman becomes a mother only when a child is born. I know motherly feelings will be there, and one need not give birth to a child to become a mother. But I hope you do understand what I am emphasizing.

In life, like a mother, each one has different roles…… And I feel it is disrespectful to a concerned person if she is being replaced emotionally by the other one. Instead of looking for similarity, why don’t we look at the uniqueness as long as it keeps us and the concerned person happy?

I look at it this way, and I continued…….

Now, I believe the whole professional setup has a lot to play with our emotional values.
I was on leave for a week; a specific work was supposed to carry out but didn’t happen due to my absence. My boss wasn’t unhappy but felt there needs to be a system wherein we aren’t dependent on an individual while he is absent. Every work must happen irrespective of the concerned person is present or not.

After all, it’s business, Fair enough, and it’s good for one’s ego to know, I am important.
But professionally, I agree, dependency will ruin the progress and stall the growth of a company. Hence a company must never depend on individuals and instead rely on a system.

Unfortunately, like humans aren’t perfect, Will the human-created systems ever are ideal?

I continued,

Will it stall our growth personally when we depend on someone? Can there be a system wherein you can replace the people one is missing?

She was waiting for me to answer this question.

… I feel facing the harsh realities of missing someone and how one overcomes it is the definition of life. At least, I love it that way, and I have learned to live better that way. Life isn’t always living with people we know; it is also a platform in which we are fortunate to know unfamiliar people. This gives me a chance to acknowledge many people I have known and their different life methods.

It is this journey that one needs to enjoy and keep going forward. It is this story of one’s journey which can awake the somniferous people and de-motivate others.

After all, it is a matter of choice. We weren’t given a selection of our birth location, status, colour, race, etc. But we are given options to undo things or do things that we want.

“Hey, I would love to continue this topic with you….. “- Her stop had come

She got down….

A few minutes later, I got down….

As I reached home,  I did realize two things. Life is full of tautologies and contradictions.

And please, I stressed to myself; do not mix one’s professional life with one’s personal life. The standards and expectations are quite different.

Remember Street Hawk??

RajanThambehalli3 Comments

In 2006, Anucheth and I had the privilege of hosting a quiz to select the best team in college. It’s called ‘Funda-mental.’

Any fact, which was appreciated, would just be acknowledged as ‘fundae’ with a generous clap. Being a part of RV QuizCorp and its rich tradition was only one of my dreams. It did come true.

Ask any quizzer when he sets the questions; all he wants is his questions to be appreciated, never mind it being cracked by the junta. And he must be able to keep the audience involved.

My favourite topic was Sports, Entertainment (remove some rock music) and India. I didn’t mind myself being binged with facts that came my way. There was enthusiasm to know more in the avenues, which I was good at. Along the way, this also became a great way to burgeon my quest for learning more facts across the world.

When I was conducting a quiz, all I wanted in return was a clap from the junta and appreciated the questions or so-called ‘fundas.’ This was the ultimate reward not just for me but also for all my fellow quizzers.

To come back to the history of QuizCorp, I don’t have much to say. Many legends from India have come and competed in the quizzes hosted by RV College because we made quizzing look more exciting and enjoyable. (http://www.rvquizcorp.com/)

In 2004, I participated in my first fundamental. I, Viren, and Keith, after a 16 round marathon quizzing, finished second overall. (It was a surprise; big occasions always brought the best in me). It was indeed a big thing as there were many good quizzers around us. At times, I always felt it was in me to step up or step down in company with my teammates. I was never good at solo quizzing except for sports.

Team spirit brings the best in me in terms of cracking the fundas.

The tradition was: The winners of fundamental get to host the next edition. Sadly, for two years after 2004, it never happened.

So, I thought, maybe I will start this thing again. Anu was more than happy about this. To me, he is the best quizzer I have seen. I have seen many seniors who come close to him or probably are ahead of him in some respects, but in what I have seen, I have never witnessed the sheer ruthlessness he exhibits when it comes to solo quizzing and any quiz, for that matter. (He used to crib about Sports and India at times, but most times he got it right whenever required)

Coming back to the pivotal point – Since a kid, bikes fascinated me, and I was cloyed with bike shows that came on TV. One happens to be Street Hawk starring Rex Smith.

It started in 1985, but my memory points to late 1992 until 1993 when I watched this show on Doordarshan. It was on Saturdays @ 930 pm, no matter what, I never missed this show.

Sadly, this show ran for 13 episodes only. One of the reasons can be pointed to David Hasselhoff’s convoluted machine called ‘Knight Rider,’ the one that could talk.

That show never appealed to me, and for me, Street Hawk is way above Knight Rider.

While setting any quiz, I make sure I dedicate my favourites in some way or the other. I wanted a question on Street Hawk for this edition of funda-mental. I had the photos of the bike designs, but I knew deep down this would be ‘arbit’ (too vague to crack).

One of the highlights of Street Hawk was its intro, which always stayed in mind. There it was, one I wanted to put it.

I played this to Anucheth; he was like, Man, where did you get this.

There you go, I knew this question would be a hit. More importantly, I wanted to bring back the lost memories of this great show among the junta.

Very few cracked, but all appreciated this question.

Appropriately, this Quiz was titled ‘Dedications’ – Dedication to all the Quiz Corpers.

That day (12th Sep 2006), Anucheth started downloading this show. It was seven and a half GB. He tried for a year until his computer gave up last month when he had to change his entire system.

I know, he wanted to present the entire show as my birthday gift; at least that’s what he claims. Never mind, I am going to buy this DVD, and this will be placed in my collectibles.

To end, check out the video and of course, the theme for this, which continues to be my track when I want to get ready for more significant and greater challenges ahead.

The theme is by Tangerine Dream.

Survivor

RajanThambehalliLeave a comment

It was not the same day compared with others recently, as I reflected upon few things. Death ends a life, but it does not end a relationship, which struggles on in the Survivor’s mind towards some resolution, which it may never find. I read these lines in a book.

Things have changed to the extent that Karma has started inspiring certain people. I am a great believer in the fact that one has its destiny, and Karma is genuinely what I believe in.

Situations encountered over the past few months where I am not allowing the so-called others to enter, and whenever the opportunity presents, I panicked and fled. I felt disloyal to the only one so far I ever loved in almost liking someone else.

But with time, I did realize, how much longer could I live this way, forever on my guard lest human feelings catch me unaware?

Freud-himself- once said that we should, of course, react according to our reason for the little things in life.

But for huge decisions, we should heed what our unconscious tells us.
Well, not every time.

With time, I have tried many things so far to confront who I am.

I was wondering what life would have been if certain things didn’t change? All I say, even I would have been alive.

At times, I am agog with the way things are in life. Also, I feel lonely at times, but there is something that keeps me going.

Maybe it is some inspiration from few friends. And how they overcame the asperity thrown at them. Or it might be lyrics of my favourite songs and or specific podcasts that I have kept for myself when I get bugged. Books help a lot, movies too and trust me talking to people also does. There are many sources for inspiration.

But I like to challenge myself to overcome on my own, fighting it out within.
At times, it’s ambulatory. Eventually, things do pick up very quickly.

In Pursuit of self-found happiness, I ensure I am not bedizened with false optimism.

Early Morning or late in the night, I was always fascinated with the thought of everyone being a survivor in this world. Somehow, people survive. Whether we like it or hate it, they survive.

With some maxims (not the ones I collect), people tend to move irrespective of the direction.

I might be young, callow in most things, but I am getting an opportunity in life to cross off many items.

In my past year, life has made me float with confidence, and it has also made me come down. It’s just that my understanding of these subtle changes has become microscopic through my own eyes and inner voice.

These words inspire,

Risin’ up, back on the street Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I’m back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

Face to face, out in the heat Hangin’ tough, stayin’ hungry
They stack the odds ’til we take to the street
For we kill with the skill to survive

Risin’ up, straight to the top Have the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I’m not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

I agree the rival is within me and no one else. External enemies are so superficial. That’s just to spice up this life game.

The song by Survivor features my pop-culture idol, Rocky Balboa.

The First Anniversary

RajanThambehalli1 Comment

It’s one year.

I would love to say that time flew by. On this occasion, I would like to dedicate a few things that kept me motivated to write about specific adventures that I experienced and my friends who commented on my writings.

Yesterday, I happened to meet my friend Saagar’s mother. Somewhere during our conversation, this blog thing came up. When I showed her my blog, I realised my first writing was posted on the 12th of Jan, one year back.

Origins:

Till Early Jan 2007

This blog resulted from impulsive talks and hearings that I used to have along with my few friends. I knew I had something to say, not necessarily the best thing, but I had something. I got a lot of things to hear about their experience and adventures.

Anianna had flown from States for a quick vacation. We have conversations on gamut topics, and suddenly one day, he told me a story about a person, and him writing about what he feels.

I told him, ‘i do that.’

In public, on the net? , he asked.

‘Here’s the point, it’s good to express things on a broader scale. Somewhere in the future, it will be an excellent indicator of one’s journey in this life and things experienced.

I was writing in a diary; a few days later decided to start writing on the net.

I was worried about the content and the audience I am catering to.

Well, this is not a commercial medium, at least for the time being. This medium should serve as a catalyst to express things according to my perspective.

The Metamorphosis:

Slowly, I liked sharing my adventures, challenges, shortcomings, and how I overcame them.

I claim that it is semi-autobiographical; inspiration from my fictional heroes and the people I have met so far were the main elements of this blog.

Well, special thanks to my mates who took some time off and happened to read this blog.

I feel that this blog is an interpretation of life from my eyes and other sense organs. Liberties were taken, and all I achieved was to satisfy certain things within me.

The tough thing is to satisfy oneself; I did realise this.

I have changed during this course of my blogging. And will continue to.

Change for good? Come on, give me a break, afterall, life’s just an adventure, and as long as the self-conscious is in feel-good terms, does it matter defining what good or bad is?

Till next time,